It’s the Corona Tuesday Primary Drunkblog


It’s the Corona Tuesday Primary Drunkblog


Americans have a real talent for throwing crazy elections, but add a little pandemic to the mix and mere craziness turns to chaos.

As I’ve been out and about the last few days, taking care of chores and errands before everything gets locked down, I’ve noticed just how crazy Americans aren’t in the face of possible COVID-19 infection. But don’t tell that to the governor of Ohio, Mike DeWine (R-Panic! at the Disco), who overruled Judge Richard Frye in order to postpone today’s primary until June.

Maybe it’s the right move, although PJMedia’s own Ohio native Paula Bolyard isn’t sure if it’s actually legal.

Florida is being Florida. We went from hanging chads in 2000 to hangin’ with Chad in 2020 — enough poll workers have decided to sit this one out that it’s becoming a problem.

Things are so bad in Illinois that local Democrats aren’t sure which ballot boxes are safe to stuff.

So far, so good in Arizona, but keeping voters at a safe distance from one another is slowing everything down.

Still, lots of delegates are up for grabs tonight, and in conditions like these, maybe only the most dedicated voters will bother to show up.

As always, the drunkblog begins (directly underneath the returns widget) in five… four… three…

Looks like AZ is getting called for Biden, so it’s time to call it a night.

That said, if trends hold then Biden failed to score the same kind of blowout in IL and AZ that he got in FL. Delegate-wise, there’s a big difference between the 2.5-to-1 margin Biden got in FL to the 1.5 margins in AZ and IL.

So by delegate math, Sanders did less badly tonight than he did last week. And if he didn’t drop out last week, then why would he tonight?

Take it all the way to Milwaukee, Bernie!

And with that, I’m going to take it to bed. Glad you were here for all the thrills.

Endorsed.

Don’t listen to the haters, Bernie.

There have been things I haven’t wanted to post, because you don’t want to tell people it probably won’t be that bad when the thing that will make it not be that bad is to act as though it’s going to be that bad.

Did you follow that?

Anyway, I’ve been buying on *all* of the dips, in expectation that recovery will come faster than we’ve been led to believe.

This is a good sign that maybe it’s OK to stop thinking the worst.

But PLEASE keep maintaining your social distance. Because, again, the thing that will keep it from getting too bad is to behave as though it’s going to be really bad.

Indeed.

UPDATE: Not sure why this tweet won’t display, or maybe the problem is only on my end.

No results yet from AZ. I’m told it could be another ten minutes or so.

1,990 is the magic number.

OVERHEARD: Arizona might be close.

When I’m president, on Day One I’ll sign an executive order creating a five dollar surcharge for hitting Reply All.

#Vodka2020

Anger leads to fear. Fear leads to suffering. Suffering leads to a brokered convention. Brokered convention leads to happiness.





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